Clearly, I have issues (week 28)

DISCLAIMER: TMI post.  If you would prefer to NOT read all about the interesting and disgusting pregnancy-related bodily functions I'm experiencing, move on.  Here, I'll give you a moment to think it over.

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Still here?  You brave soul.

I took this first picture yesterday for my official 28 week portrait.  This is our guest bathroom, which has the much more lovely map of the world shower curtain (Target!) as a backdrop.  Let me just say (as the understatement of the century) that I've been struggling in the bowel department this past week.

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You'd think I'd just leave well enough alone and let the Febreeze Air Effects bottle speak for itself, right?  I guess that's what a normal person would have done … but I like to go all the way as long as I'm self-depricating over here!!   And while I'm going there, we have four of these bottles strategically placed all over the house.  I wish I had a travel-sized one for my purse because it's getting harder and harder to RUN to abandon my gas whilst in the crowded aisles of Trader Joe's.

Anyhoo, since Sunday's church service several people have commented on how HUGE my belly seems for 28 weeks!  I've been laughing it off (but still, best choice of comment for a first-time prego?  Or anyone who's prego?  Not so much), and reminding everyone that John and I were both nearly 9-pounders, so this little girl will no doubt be a mini sumo wrestler too (if you need a reminder, check out these cheeks! That's 8 pounds, 11 ounces of LOVE right there!!). 

But then …

after last night's Dodger game I got home and I went to the bathroom.  Like MAJORLY.

And then I looked like this:

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Now granted I'm short a layer of clothes here, but is it me or did I just lose an entire month of pregnancy?  Terrifying.  And considering I took this picture at about 11:30 at night … when I'm usually more swollen after a day of activity … it's even more frightening.

Ok, so Little Buddy.  What's she up to?  On Sunday she LOVED John's sermon!!  She was bouncing around in my belly so hard at one point it made my arm (which I was resting on her, sorry kid) jump.  Woo!  She loves to hear Daddy talk.  Sometimes when we're chatting I just have him put his hand on my belly and he gets a big performance every time.  She also is getting startled by loud noises, as we learned at the baseball game last night.  Pop thinks it's really that she just loves baseball, like him.  :)  When she's "asleep" she loves to wedge up in my ribs on the right side, STILL.  I actually wondered today if I have some kind of crazy growth up there, but no, when she moves away it doesn't hurt.  She is ALWAYS awake at night and now early in the morning … I'm not sleeping past 5 am much anymore (don't worry, I don't get up for the day until at least 8:30).  One of her big talents right now is "kicking" me in two spots on opposite sides of my body at once.  I can't wait to see what that one looks like from the outside!!

Our girl is having her first party on June 21!  Our church is having a co-ed baby shower for us (all are welcome, so just let me know if you'll be around and you can make it).  I'm excited to see men playing baby shower games more than anything!  Fun!

One more confession:  we have done nothing to set up the baby's room yet because we're holding out on the guest room as long as we can (my mom and sister are visiting the weekend of the baby shower).  I'm not in any crazy hurry to get it done, in fact I'm kinda waiting to see what we get at the baby showers before we buy a bunch of stuff!!  Is that shallow and cheap?  Just as a poll, when did you all have your baby's room ready?

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In other news, Juicy has taken the Raccoon-ism to a whole new level.  While we were away last night he somehow managed to get finagle the trash out of the pantry, even though it was blocked by a 20-pound dog food container.  He couldn't get the actual can out, but he did manage to somehow knock it over with the pantry door only partially opened and then pull out the entire bag.  We were flabbergasted when we got home at the sheer size and scope of the mess.  The coffee grounds ALONE would have taken your breath away.  This is the fourth incident of Racoon-ism in less than two weeks.  John wanted to make him sleep outside last night but I couldn't bear it.  I think the dog sale might be back on soon.  Sigh.

And randomly, Ryan Adams is dating Mandy Moore?  And dyed his hair platinum blonde?  This offends me, but not as much as the time he dated Lindsay Lohan.  I now might buy only four of the five albums he puts out this year.

But let's end on a happy note with another jewel from my baby book (self-absorbed over here today, I know).

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6 thoughts on “Clearly, I have issues (week 28)

  1. Lily says:

    Hey, about the room setup stuff, we were like that with BOTH babies. You’d think we’d get our acts together or something.

  2. Nora says:

    BM’s… I think it’s God’s way of working on your pushing muscles… I had some that took almost the same energy and time as it took to push Daniel out… :).

    Bethany’s room wasn’t set up until at least 32 weeks or so… Your wise to wait until after your shower.

  3. rachel says:

    I had a really clever comment the other night then my computer crashed.

    As far as the gas goes, once the baby is here you can permanently blame it on her.

  4. K says:

    I just saw a “Sign of the Times” on Nightline about Whoorl’s Hair Thursday. I would swear they flashed your picture! Just thought you might like to know…. 🙂

  5. Anonymous says:

    Oh, man. If that’s the worst pregnancy/gas story, have I got one for you. It’s a lot of TMI, so let me know if you’re up for it.

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