Still here, still pregnant.
I know. Don’t say it. It’s not twins. Yet.
What we do have is a stir-crazy baby! Her movements are impossible to ignore anymore. All night long she’s practicing for DDR, people. I haven’t slept in days. I get up at least every two hours to pee anyway but it’s more like stretching my legs … I just can’t hold out on my bladder any longer.
The hemorrhoid battle rages on. There I said it. I feel like my life is a teeter-totter between Metamucil and Preparation-H. Which makes me REALLY NOT look forward to pushing when I give birth. IN THREE WEEKS. The question at the top of my list for the doctor next week is not about anesthesia, not about episiodomies, but about hemorrhoids. As in, what in the heck is he going to do about them? SAD.
The other night we were at dinner and we were seated nex to the Most Annoying Child In The World. I can still hear the sound of her whiney, “LOOK AT ME,” voice in my head and this was like 3 days ago. She almost completely ruined our dinner and her mother just kind of sat there looking at her. The kid was literally standing up in her chair howling “NO MAAAAAAMMY NOOOOO.” Just to be annoying. And the lady just sat there looking at her. I was about to snatch the child up myself when the most dreadful thing happened: The lady called the Demon Child by MY CHILD’S NAME.
I think this calls for a pedicure.