So, I'm having a bit of a Jessie Spano moment over here today:
I'm coming to grips with the fact that there is a really, really good chance that Little Buddy isn't going to come on her own by the doctor's deadline: 10 days (which magically comes tomorrow night at midnight). While I'm SO EXCITED to finally meet our daughter and get birth over with — yikes — I'm also SCARED. Induction is just not how I saw things panning out in the end. I was so sure that I'd go into labor on my own. I'm freaked out that with medical intervention something will go wrong and the scenario has played out many times in my head going down all the BAD rabbit trails.
In my heart I know it's TIME already. Even if the doctor got his math wrong (which we are pretty sure he did because I KNOW the day I got pregnant and it's 4-5 days after he says I did. I KNOW because it is MARKED ON THE CALENDAR) our daughter is still 4 days late at this point and will be 6 days overdue by Thursday. An induction is not unreasonable. It's just scary.
I'm sad that my family won't be here when she's born. I bawled all day Sunday dropping them off at the airport. My mom will be back on Thursday but it's not the same! I feel like I got shortchanged! I mean, my family could have been here this week instead of last week!! WAHHH!
Please don't get me wrong … we are so blessed to have made it to this point with absolutely NO complications. There hasn't been a single reason for concern over anything with this pregnancy except for a little extra weight gain (oops). And even then, I've only gained 30 pounds! It's not THAT bad! And at least there's an end in sight. By this time on Thursday our baby hopefully will be in the world and everyone will FINALLY know her name. Hee. I just need your prayers right now. Mentally I need to be tougher and have more faith that God is in control of this whole thing and that he will protect our little family.
In the meantime I'm plotting to sleep in for the last time possibly EVER tomorrow morning, getting as much laundry done as I can, and planning the huge final no-guilt pregnant meal I'll eat tomorrow. :) And just FYI I will NOT be blogging through labor, although I will update Twitter via my phone, so just check the sidebar on your right and we'll do our best. Love to you all.