Sydney spent most of the day in her pjs from last night because she came to work with me this morning! I brought her "desk" (her bouncer) with us and she worked very hard while smiling at everyone, giggling, and then promptly passing out for an hour and a half because she is AWESOME.
When we got home I handed her off to John so I could finally shower (at 3 pm, and YES I went to work unshowered and YES totally tried to pass off a pair of black pj pants as real pants). I asked him to put an outfit on her because we were planning a little family outing to Ikea later so I could drool on what will HOPEFULLY be coming to live at my house before the holidays.
I took a nice long shower, happily sighing to myself the whole time over the magical freedom of not having to worry over whether someone had lost her pacifier and might be mad at me, and came out to find my daughter like this:
Daddy said he was going for a "Ninja-banana" look. WOW. At least he didn't do a repeat of the previous "Joker" look … that one involved purple socks and green pants and unfortunately I do not have photographic evidence.
Since I'm not the type to re-do something that's already sufficiently done, we readied ourselves to vamoose. All we needed was a little sweater action. Shall I entertain you with the layering job I entrusted to my spouse?
NEVERTHELESS, off we went! We enjoyed some interesting meatballs and cheap hot dogs before frolicking in the scratch-and-dent section where we came across this sexy thing two trips ago for a mere $249. Juicy has been very pleased with his new couch, just in case you're wondering.
Yes, although Ikea is cheap, it's apparently not cheap enough for the wife of The Man Who Loathes Spending Moolah. The couch only had ONE broken spring! It's FINE! Well, it was fine after I sanitized the crap out of it because, apparently? Everyone abandons their five kids in the scratch-and-dent section to spread germs around while they shop elsewhere. Perhaps they were hoping someone would take them on clearance … you can probably guess that I was NOT INTERESTED.
Anyway, we frolicked, didn't find much that was interesting except for a springform pan for me because I'm planning pumpkin cheesecake in Denver for Thanksgiving (WOOT! SHOUT OUT TO DENVER!) and a few other doodads and on our way out Sydney was a stinky, yet smiley, fool. Of course they only put the diaper changing thingies in the ladies room – the MAN who thought that one up is rolling in cash from grateful men across the land – so we went to work. As soon as I unzipped the hoodie, it was clear that there had been a Poop Incident. Because Poop was where it should not be: outside of the clothing ohdearlord. I cannot even begin to describe the volume other than to say it was IN HER ARMPITS. Somehow I got her stripped down and cleaned up with the mere FIVE diaper wipes I had left and then? AND THEN????? Oh yes you know what comes next. She pees. All over the plastic changing pad which means that it pools underneath her and soaks her entire back AND HAIR and what else?? DID YOU FORGET?? I'M OUT OF DIAPER WIPES.
So yes, I sopped up pee with her poopie clothes, blotted her with paper towels, thanked heaven that I had an extra outfit, and life went on. But you'd better believe I spent most of the ride home plotting this blog. Because POOP and PEE get TOP BILLING up in here people.