What the crap is a "meme"? I read this link here and I STILL have no idea. Anyway, I got "tagged for a meme" by Jackie. This is my blog's first time being tagged … how flattering! I, on the other hand, have been tagged many times in my life: by dodge balls, paint balls, my sister and her friends in a wedgie war (that was technically a "tag-team" but why split hairs? I lost terribly!), and of course loony kindergartners who say you can only unfreeze if you name a cartoon…
As instructed, I shall now reveal seven random and/or weird thingies about me for your reading pleasure.
1. I use an inordinate amount of Q-tips on a daily basis. Like, at least 8. Mostly to fix mascara that I've just expertly smeared all over my face (I am very good at sneezing with wet mascara on too), but also to clean/itch my ears. I prefer name-brand Q-tips, in case you were wondering. And yes, I stick them in my ear canals like you're not supposed to. I probably would have scored higher on my GRE test otherwise.
2. Heightened sense of smell runs in my family. Under normal circumstances this is mostly annoying, say if a tall person who forgot their deodorant hugs me or if Juicy farts in my vicinity, but when I was pregnant IT WAS EXCRUCIATING. Even the blandest of things had gag-worthy funk to me. Unfortunately for my husband John, who enjoys several cups of coffee a day, I could smell him coming before he even walked in the front door. I once claimed – while pregnant – to be able to smell his coffee breath from the second row of pews at church while he spoke up front. For ten long months he couldn't even consider coming near me unless he'd brushed his teeth first. We went through a lot of gum and mouthwash in 2008 to say the least. Thankfully soon after my daughter started delivering peanut-butter scented baby poop directly to my nostrils my sense of smell downgraded back down to hound-dog level.
3. I can hear a song once and sing it back to you almost word for word. When it comes to popular music I can hear a few bars of a song and usually name you the song and artist. But when I was in the fourth grade I could not remember my multiplication tables for the life of me. My mom still asks me occasionally if I know them. THANKS FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE, MA. AND YES mostly I DO.
4. While I was in graduate school I taught rhetoric and creative writing to college freshmen. I was a pretty good teacher, and even got nominated for an outstanding teaching award, but the experience cured me of ever wanting to be a teacher as a career. Have you ever sat at your kitchen table at 2 a.m. with sixty 10-page papers to grade by morning? Um, if not, don't try it. IT SUCKS.
5. We had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with Sydney. I have never mentioned it here on this blog because it was one of the most devastating experiences I've had in my adult life. When I was pregnant for the second time and people would innocently ask me if it was our first child, I never knew what to say (and still don't). The easy answer was always "yes," but it felt like a lie. How does one talk about these things? Even now I feel awkward writing it; as if I'm burdening you, dear readers, with it. Somehow it seems less cumbersome to mention other deaths – such as the death of my father - as if they are more "real." We consider the loss of that 9-week pregnancy to be the death of a baby we so very much wanted.
6. I am the worst pastor's wife I have ever heard of. I do not host Tupperware parties, buy Mary Kay or Avon products from anyone (except my mother-in-law, who then spends all her profits on her grandchildren), plan children's pageants nor vacation Bible school, sew curtains, or anything pastor's-wifey-ish. I wear black fingernail polish, have a tattoo, often arrive late to church, and sometimes curse when I get cut off in traffic or stub my toe. I do not own any decoupaged sweatshirts, smocks of any kind, birdhouses, or pictures of Jesus depicted as a blond-haired, blue-eyed Scandinavian. I am imperfect in many – if not all – ways. However, and more importantly, I do love Jesus. The thing I love the most about Jesus' life is that he surrounded himself with the most imperfect people he could find and made them his students. I'm pretty sure I would have fit in ok with him. I also love my husband fiercely, and he is one of the best pastors I've ever heard of. He is always ready with grace for people who I don't even consider being patient with. He is the smartest person I have ever met. He has this amazing mind: he knows where to find most scripture references I can come up with and all the lyrics to Run DMC's Greatest Hits album, not to mention all the books and poems and short stories he has ever taught anywhere backwards and forwards. He simply speaks truth into people's lives and drinks thousands of cups of coffee with those who hurt and are lost and want answers to the questions that nag them in the deepest parts of their souls. He could give a crap about how he looks on a Sunday morning. Every day he is up with the dawn praying for every person who crosses his path. If there's anyone in this life that I strive to be more like, it's him.
7. I shave my legs every day, unless there is a clear impediment (must be out the door in 5 minutes so have 1 minute to shower, baby screaming her head off 30 seconds into shower, stuff like that). It's really more of a comfort thing than a vanity thing … I rarely wear shorts. I've done it every day for so many years – complete with shave gel! - that it takes me about 1.87 minutes to complete the entire job.
There you have it. And now I'm supposed to tag some people. I'm going to tag A LOT OF PEOPLE. Because who knows when I'll get tagged again?
(Also, I read a crapload of blogs and I'd like to know what you all come up with).
The rules say that you have to write seven random or weird things about yourself then tag other blogs and post links and whatnot. I AM WATCHING YOU so BE FUN, dangit. Viva randomness!