The “F” word (and other random thoughts)

My sister-in-law once dated a guy who showed up to pick her up for a date with a dozen roses tucked under his arm and TWO pies.  While I consider this to be the epitome of AWESOME, my husband still to this day tells that story with a twinge of bitterness (it's mostly a big-brotherly-type thing, I think).  He says, "Come on! Who shows up with TWO pies?  Why would he need to do that?"  My impression of Two Pies Guy is that he was a bit of a slimeball in the end, but how would you have known that on Two Pies Day?  Wouldn't you have been all "HOLY WOW THIS GUY IS TOTALLY MARRIAGE MATERIAL!"?  Yeah.  Me too.  (So if there are any guys reading this who want to make Valentine's Day memorable: BRING FOOD).

The reason I tell this story is because today I know about having a completely non-slimy Two Pies Guy:



Is everyone all freaked about peanut butter?  Since I don't watch television anymore except for catching up on LOST and The Office online (except for last night I saw most of the episode of The Office after the Superbowl.  OH MY GOSH DID YOU SEE KAREN FILIPPELLI in the little preview thingie?  IS ANYONE ELSE FREAKING OUT?! I seriously had nightmares about it last night I was so upset), I've only heard little smatterings of the peanut butter salmonella hullabaloo.  I figured we're ok since none of us have gotten ill yet and we eat peanut butter/things with peanut butter in them almost every day.  Then the other day I was grumbling about living in LA and having to choose which grocery store to go to based on the time of day and how many crackheads would be hanging around the parking lot (I wish I was exaggerating but, NOPE) and was pleasantly surprised when I checked out that this was included at the end of my receipt:


… a list of all things that have been recalled/pulled from the shelves! Wasn't that nice?!  Too bad I ate like 5 of the Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch CLIF Bars in the last week but since I'm not dead right now, it's probably ok.

Also, have you checked out yet?  I know this sounds like a total commercial but I have really been enjoying this website for the past month.  Today a video is up about breastfeeding, and I'm totally curious to know what you all think about it.  I have never had anyone comment on how I feed my child one way or another, but lately I have been feeling SO GUILTY for feeding her formula (we still nurse about twice a day, she eats solids for one meal a day, and otherwise she gets bottles –3 to 5 a day).  I read Lizzie's blog about getting her supply back up after being sick and I felt like a total failure.  All morning I've been battling back and forth about getting my pump out and trying to dry pump for 4-5 days and going to get some fenugreek to see if it helps.  Fact is, I'M TORN.  On the one hand, I want to breastfeed Sydney.  I love breastfeeding her!  I want her to receive all the benefits of mother's milk and I want to spend that time with her.  Nursing is cheap and very convenient … sometimes.  On the other hand, I want to leave the house occasionally.  I don't want to have to deal with pumping, washing pump parts, etc.  Have you ever felt guilty for going to bed without pumping?!  I HAVE. The point is, my daughter is doing great!  She's growing like a weed and has a huge appetite and I think she's transitioning in terms of her dietary needs.

I don't know if there's really a question here.  No one has criticized me (except for myself) for how we feed our daughter.  I'm just curious how you all feel about it.  Have you felt totally guilty for feeding your kid formula or obligated to breastfeed to the point you are going insane because you have to pump or take your kid with you everywhere?  This video is interesting.  And for the record I have gotten totally eyeball screwed for nursing in public (I was using a nursing cover and you couldn't see anything!) and I think that is messed up. 


And speaking of nursing, my baby has latched on … to my forearm. Bye!


13 thoughts on “The “F” word (and other random thoughts)

  1. larmar says:

    i stopped nursing alex when she was 7 months, and the only thing i regret is the closeness. i, in now manner, feel like i am ‘shorting’ her or giving her 3 bottles of poison a day. she is clearly thriving, and we still get closeness, i just have my shirt on, which isn’t an awful thing in restaurants. i think breastfeeding is good in that it’s natural, and to be honest, cheaper. but, like one of the women said, if it’s too stressful and it’s becoming a problem instead of a joy, then formula is not an awful alternative. guilt should not be a side effect of formula. relaxed shoulders and bras that don’t expose the nipple at a moment’s notice should be side effects of formula. just do what you feel is best for you and your baby.

  2. Liz says:

    Dude. I completely felt like a failure. Like I was totally irresponsible for getting the flu and I should have known better. If it were to happen again, there’s no freaking way I would ever pump my supply back up. But after two days, I was all, “well, I’ve got so much time invested now giving up would be even more stupid.” Tell that to my raw nipples. Two or three days after that was the first time I didn’t HAVE to feed Lucy formula.

    And I don’t think it’s the F-word at all. Especially now that she’s eating solids and is a little older, etc etc etc. When I go to “work”, she still gets formula.

    There certainly are a lot of emotions that are attached to feeding and caring for your baby, huh? Whew!

  3. maggie says:

    Jack didn’t get an ounce of formula till I stopped breastfeeding him at 6 months. Molly? I decided: why pump if I have this lovely can of formula sitting RIGHT HERE? I hate pumping. Hate hate hate. Not that my kid takes a bottle, but I try at least once a day and it’s full of formula. You do your best, right? And “best” includes “happy mom”.

  4. Kara says:

    Don’t worry about it. She will be fine. Formula is awesome these days. I only nursed N and A until 5 months…thought I’d do this one longer, but I got 2 breast infections in one week and was told to exclusively pump…so am now pumping for 2 bottles and giving formula for 3…and she was only 2 months old. I feel very guilty that I’m not trying to put her back on the breast, but to be honest…when I’m trying to get myself and 3 kids dressed and out the door by 8 each morning, it’s nice to give her a bottle, instead of nursing for 30 minutes!

  5. Ellie says:

    (Rambly rambly rambly! Sorry!)

    When N. was 6 weeks old, and not gaining weight, we began supplementing with both formula and pumped breastmilk on advice of the pediatrician. For the record, I felt horribly, horribly guilty; a few days before the pediatrician told us to try the formula, I remember the baby waking up at 3AM, and I was in tears from exhaustion. My husband wanted to give him formula (we did have some in the house) and I wouldn’t let him because of the overwhelming guilt.

    (When the doc tells me, though, I allow it. I’m such a sheep).

    We supplemented from then on, but I continued to nurse him first at every feeding. Although on the occasional outing, he’d get a bottle. I made sure we were only out long enough to miss just one feeding, never two, and I never had to pump those days. As long as I was back to the normal number of feedings the next day, there was no supply issue.

    Now that he’s in daycare (across the street!), I nurse him a few times a day, and that works out. They give him formula if I can’t make it for a feeding.

    He’s starting to wean, I think, and that makes me feel more guilty than anything else. I’m so not ready for it to end. BUT, I don’t have the mental fortitude to pump several times a day to keep things going in case it’s just a strike (but I don’t think it is). I never minded pumping before, but now it’s not ‘productive’, and I don’t feel like pumping for 20-30 minutes to get 6 mls, it just depresses me to the point of tears. He still nurses in the morning, and a few times during the day, and he’s happy and healthy.

    Bottom line? Maggie is right. “Best” means “happy mom.”

    Elizabeth also says it pretty well:

    So, do what’s best for you, and that’s what’s best for Sydney.

  6. Elsha says:

    I struggled with supply from the beginning, but managed to nurse exclusively while I was on maternity leave. Of course, my crappy supply meant despite pumping after every feeding I had no stock pile of milk so she started getting formula at 6 weeks when I went back to work. It was downhill from there even though I was pumping like a bazillion times a day at work.

    We quit for good at 4 months. At that point I felt guilty for quitting but also a little relieved to be giving up pumping and then of course I felt guilty for feeling relieved. But she’s happy and healthy and that’s what’s really important. Only you can really know what’s best for your family.

  7. Lily says:

    Interesting, that video. I’ve gotten lots of unsolicited comments about my choice not to give our littlest one any bottles; one lady at church was rather curt about it. Manda, you’ve got to do whatever works for you . . . Sanity, rest, and love in the home need to be maintained! BTW, I also HATE pumping, and you know the only one reason I am pumping.

  8. Annabelle says:

    Manda, I haven’t had children yet, so I say do what you feel is best, but I will share this link to the Weston A. Price Foundation’s information about breastfeeding and formula:

    And here’s a list of what’s in infant formula (gives me the willies)

    WATER: May contain high levels of fluoride.

    CORN SYRUP: Contains glucose. Mother’s milk contains lactose as the main carbohydrate. Not all brands of formula contain lactose.

    SUCROSE: Contains no lactose. The wrong sugar for babies.

    SOY OIL: Processed using high temperatures and chemicals, bleached and deodorized. Likely to be rancid.

    WHEY PROTEIN: High temperature processing likely to destroy fragile whey proteins.

    SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE: Highly processed, contains phytoestrogens that can adversely affect baby’s hormonal development and depress thyroid function. Does not have GRAS status.

    CARRAGEENAN: Extremely hard to digest. In most ready-mixed formulas, carrageenan is one of the main causes of digestive disorders in formula-fed infants, not lactose-intolerance. Caused liver problems and retarded growth in rats.

    SOY LECITHIN: Extracted from the soy oil sludge. Likely to be high in pesticides.

    SYNTHETIC VITAMINS: Often have the opposite effect of vitamins naturally occurring in food.

    FREE GLUTAMIC ACID (MSG) and ASPARTIC ACID: Neurotoxins formed during processing of milk and soy protein powders. Levels are especially high in hypoallergenic formulas.

  9. Brandy says:

    That is one thing that is seriously wrong in this country. As much as it is emphasized that we should breastfeed our babies you have the crazy people who see it as something dirty almost to be done in private. So frustrating! People can just get over themselves because if me and Livi are in public and she gets hungry there is going to be a booby popped out (albeit covered stylishly, thank you very much!).

  10. Manda says:

    Hey everyone, Manda here (yes I realize that commenting on my own blog is probably LAME but oh well!). I just wanted to drop a little note per Annabelle’s comment. I checked out my formula can and none of the ingredients she lists are in there. I looked up her website of reference and the ingredients are from soy formula(supposedly – I haven’t got a can of that to compare). If her comment freaked you out – as it did me – I implore you to look into it further. I think your fears will be assuaged. Cheers.

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