The kids are all right: 29 weeks

Had another checkup today and Rocky's doing great … strong heartbeat. Mama on the other hand needs iron pills. And will subsequently need stool softener. BOO. I'm hoping that the extra iron helps my energy levels (which are seriously LOW as of late).

In addition to feeling exhausted I'm also feeling huge. Have gained 3.5 pounds in two weeks (which makes for a total of 6 pounds in the last 4 weeks, not so bad). The number on the scale is starting to get up there. It's starting to frighten me (even though I knew it was coming. Even though it's normal. Even though I gained the weight with Syd and lost it).

I'm sorry but I just do not understand those mothers who are all "I feel so glowy and sexy and ALIVE! when I'm pregnant!" I DO NOT GET IT. I mostly feel like eating caramel brownies and taking a nap and then going to bed at 8:30. Simple chores overwhelm me, not to mention going on trips of any kind with my almost-two-year old (do I even need to recap the mini-break we took this week? And about how our kid was up until 11 one night and then 9 the next? And about how she barely napped? And about how freaking exhausted we were when we got home yesterday? And about how hotels and toddlers DO NOT MIX? DO I EVEN NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT, INTERNET?).

And if my husband looks at me sideways? Wink wink? Eyebrow eyebrow? He basically gets told that if he gets anywhere near me HE WILL DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH. Ain't THAT romantic?!

When people talk about cold glasses of champagne or the delicious glass of red wine they had I WANT TO KILL THEM. And know what? I don't even drink all that much. It's just that I'm not allowed to have it that bugs the crap out of me. And same goes for sushi. And turkey sandwiches. And hot dogs. And soft serve ice cream. I can't have it? I WANT IT.

Lastly? The other day at the Apple store my husband was in for a Genius Bar appointment because his iPhone 3GS has not been behaving. This little 19-year-old twit girl with yellow eyeshadow and the neck cut out of her fancy little Apple store t-shirt widened her eyes at me and was like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU'RE NOT DUE FOR TWO MORE MONTHS? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO FREAKING POP!" I tried to explain my previous history with 10 pounders and good-naturedly told her about how I carry big, etc. But you know what I should have done instead? Ruined intercourse for her FOREVER. Scared the living sh*t out of her regarding babymaking, birth, and reproduction of any kind. I should have told her that most women get pregnant LIKE THAT! EVEN ON THE PILL! EVEN WITH CONDOMS! And then? SNAPPED MY FINGERS IN HER FACE! BOOYAH!


Anyway. We are doing fine. And quite obviously more naps and more brownies are in order.


11 thoughts on “The kids are all right: 29 weeks

  1. A'Dell says:

    Oh my gosh, I SO wish you had done that to her. That would have been AWESOME.

    Those last weeks…I do not envy you. They are tough. I can’t even begin to think about how it works with an existing toddler in tow.

    I think your new thing should be to pull our the sass to anyone who looks at you wrong. That will at least be entertaining and give you something to look forward to.

  2. Sara says:

    I think you should do that to anyone wearing yellow eyeshadow regardless of if they make a comment to you.

    Glad Rocky is still kickin ass!

  3. Heather Ben says:

    haha – that would have been so funny. we are due about the same time (me sept 23) and i am feeling much the same way. My daughter is currently 19 months and, though i love her dearly, i miss with the first preg just taking naps whenever i was tired (and not working…). those were the days.

  4. little miss mel says:

    Soft Serve Ice Cream? I feel I’m quite seasoned in the having babies department and I’ve never heard of soft serve??? (or have I? I don’t remember much anymore…) and if you heat the turkey enough, it’s fine too. 🙂

    Glad things are going well on the inside. The rest of it could surely do without, but at least you have your brownies, as you said. 😉

    Hang in there girlie!!

  5. The Mama says:

    Ah yes, how fun it is to have skinny young things tell us how huge we look when we’re pregnant. I also love when men say things like that. Favorite.

  6. Home Sweet Sarah says:

    I don’t understand why you can’t eat turkey or soft serve ice cream. (Or sushi or hotdogs for that matter, but I’m trying to sound like I’m not a total idiot, which I am, so whatevs.)

    Anyway, I so wish you would have scarred that iPhone hipster kid for life! That would have been AWESOME.

  7. Elsha says:

    I just want to come hang out with you and run around scaring teenagers into never having sex again.

    P.S. How come sushi is off limits for pregnant women in America but pregnant women in Japan eat it?

    P.P.S. I ate sushi while I was pregnant.

  8. Lily says:

    3rd trimester = tired. The housekeeping? Perhaps you’ll be more on top of things than me, but with 2 little munchkins terrorizing everything, there’s much less time and energy to keep house as clean as preferred. It’s a choice between sanity and clean (don’t get me wrong, I still can’t stand the kitchen or bathrooms dirty; yuck, yuck, DISGUSTING).

  9. barbetti says:

    Sigh, I am SO with you on feeling anything but sexy, glamorous, full of life while pregnant. I never understood that. Especially when there is a baby foot lodged in your ribcage and you’re trying not to hurl while making sausage (GAG GAG GAG!) and your upper thighs has patches of hair that you missed while shaving. Not sexy.

    Btw, saw you were in Montana and got ridiculously excited except that I saw you’re visiting family, so no worries, I won’t crash your family fun time. Hope you enjoy Montana, and all that NO SALES TAX excitement (NH is the same way, I LOVED living there for that reason alone).

  10. seekingclarav says:

    Now I am all freaked out about soft serve. It’s pretty much the only thing I ate when I was pregnant with my daughter but this time around with the boy, I am preferring the hard packed.

    And yeah, all glowy and sexy. My ass. My huge ass. I am 25 weeks now and already mistified buy the largeness of my belly. I pretty much want to eat things that involve mayonaise all day then lay around in bed eating salty crunchy things then go to bed and not pee twice per night. sigh.

    You are getting close! Hang in there and give yourself a break.

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