The Mama Decathalon

Today I got it in my head to "run a few errands" before lunch/naptime.

As things tend to do with me lately, it got out of control. And for the first time in months I actually finished everything I set out to do. To me? It's worth documenting because as I am about to be the mother of two, it most likely WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Also? My husband and I traded cars today because the baby seat was in the truck. While it's a fun novelty for me to drive the truck around on a single-stop trip, I soon learned that piling all my merchandise around Syd in her car seat IS NOT FUN (and I'm too much of a wimp to just throw everything in the bed of the truck because what if it falls out! Also! I am too wide and too short to get it out ANYWAY!)

1. Pick up dry cleaning.

2. T.J. Maxx (was looking for adult towels. Found bath mats and scored some hoodie towels for Rocky and an exercise ball for John for when he holds Rocky in the Bjorn and types at his desk. He did this with Syd when she was wee and it was a total GENIUS move … she slept and he got work done. We're hoping that it works again!).

3. Trader Joe's … for random fancy things only to be found at Trader Joe's.

4. Run coupon to John who is by Petsmart so he can buy dog food (it was a $10 coupon so it was worth the trip).

5. Hit up the drive-thru car wash for Wacky $5 Wednesdays because my husband's car is NASTAY and talk Syd through the tunnel … she's not sold on the car wash just yet. The moment we pull up she says "MAMA! ALL DONE!"

6. Drive-thru ice cream cone for surviving the car wash! Yay!

7. Fill up gas tank. Not only is my husband's truck always dirty, it's always on E. Help me Rhonda.

8. Up the street to Ritzy Target in Upscale Area of Town. John meets up with us there to score some free boxes. He stows them under the cart and moves on with his day. I proceed to run the boxes into every corner of every aisle in the entire Target while Sydney chucks her flip-flops at me. FUN. Forget 19 things and circle Target 85 times to collect them all (miraculously, I didn't miss a thing! I think!) Get cut off while pushing cart by no less than three women who are sauntering around like they're on a cruise ship while talking on the phone. Then at the checkout line get cut off by a prissy man who has ONE thing to buy and BOTH lanes on either side are WIDE OPEN and when I give him the look of DIEDIEDIEYOUWEELITTLEMAN he turns to me and rolls his eyes and says "Oh! Well I guess I'll just go to the NEXT lane then!" as if I'M not quite obviously the one (with a full cart, a toddler banging me upside the head with a flip flop and oh yeah EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT) who should feel PUT OUT. *deep breath* I need to remember that even if I have to drive out of the way to never, ever go to Ritzy Target AGAIN.

9. Drive home with toddler who is in the throes of "I need a nap SO BAD" and empties every single bag and chucks the contents at you in the front seat.

And so? I would like my gold star, my Olympic medal, a cookie, an ice water, a foot rub, a nap, and a high five. And if you need me I'll be naked in the baby pool in the back yard until Rocky's due date. Goodbye forever!


4 thoughts on “The Mama Decathalon

  1. Elizabeth says:

    This is why I only shop at Dirty Target. (We call it Targhetto.) Also, I was wicked pregnant in May, I cannot imagine it in AUGUST. I am totally sending you a gold star.

  2. Sara says:

    I couldn’t accomplish that much and I am neither pregnant nor do I have a toddler attempting a no hitter. Pie is still relatively lump like. So impressed…gold star, cookie, medal are on their way.

  3. Heather Ben says:

    dude – what is it about target? i am about the same as you – 20 month old, due next month and i get cut off at target multiple times in a single trip by people who aren’t even looking where they are going.

    oh, and a little pregancy rant – I am SO tired of all the random people saying “are you having twins? they must be due soon!”. I haven’t gaining that much weight, but even if i had – why is it suddenly acceptable to comment on it???? (off soapbox now…sorry)

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