Last night I took it upon myself to scare the everloving crapola out of everyone who reads my twitter feed with a comment along the lines of, "Um so yeah I'm having major contractions! And my husband is working tonight! And I haven't finished packing my bag yet!" I sent "just in case" texts to our short list of people who are willing and ready to come over and help with Syd should we need to flee the house in the direction of the hospital in the wee hours of the night. I sat on the couch and watched Glee and rolled my eyes approximately 1,893 times over my pint of Chubby Hubby. I flopped every which way trying to get comfortable. I did laundry. I tried to remember all the things I still need to add to our hospital bag (and who in the heck even KNOWS where my favorite quilt and my spare eyeglasses are right now? NOT ME!). I put clean sheets on our bed. I fretted. And then finally John came home and I flopped asleep without interruption until 6:30 this morning.
As of today there's six days left. Five-and-a-half if you're really counting, as I am. My mom is on an airplane somewhere over the mountains by now. My sister follows on Friday. By this time next week we will have had 24 hours with our boy. And until then? I am practically a ticking time bomb and counting down all the "lasts" until he gets here.
Last trip to Target by myself.
Last date night with John.
Last trip to Disneyland with John and Syd.
Last night as a threesome before family descends.
Last stock-up grocery run.
Last Costco run.
Last load of baby laundry.
Last Mommy & Me class with Syd.
Even though I feel so, SO ready to have this baby I know that I'm going to lose it next Monday. As much as we have tried to prepare ourselves and our daughter for the life changes that await us, I know it's going to be crazy for a while. I know it's going to be hard for Syd when we're at the hospital (even though I also know she's going to have a total blast being spoiled by her aunt and grandparents). I have no idea what to expect from my childrens' first meeting. I can plan what Syd will wear (we have the "Big Sister" shirts all ready to go!) and I can plan the little gifts we'll have waiting for her. We have watched The Three Bears and A New Baby every day this week. We talk about "baby brother" and "Rocky" and how she'll be a "big sister" and how the new baby will come to live with us at our house, but I have no idea how much of it is clicking. I guess we'll find out soon enough!
While I'm planning on having this baby next Tuesday, anything could happen in the days between here and there. The onset of real, honest-to-goodness holy-crap-I-can-barely-breathe contractions are teaching me that hard lesson this week. The giant baby kicking me like a mule and bearing down on my pelvis is a constant reminder of how little control I actually have even though it seems like I have SO MUCH control.
What I will say is that I cannot wait to see my son's face for the first time. To hold him. To name him. To introduce him to his big sister. To bring him home. To begin this new chapter. To be done being pregnant for a while. A loooong while.
So here we come, October 12. What a day you will be!