I haven't slept much in the last few weeks. As I so eloquently WHINED in my last post (that I banged out on my iPhone while – what else?! – nursing Elijah) I am spread thin lately. Today I was supposed to take Syd in for her 2.5 year checkup … totally biffed and forgot. I haven't seen my planner for days and finally found it shoved on the bookshelf today. I needed to enter some upcoming wedding dates and The Blathering and yup, there it was: the doctor appointment I had missed TWO HOURS EARLIER.
Sometimes I just want to yell at myself "GET IT TOGETHER WOMAN!" But until I get some rest it's probably futile. So, yeah, see you in like 18 years when both kids are off to college.
Anyhow, I mentioned my son's complete lack of sleep to our Mommy & Me teacher yesterday and she was like "Oh yeah! The four-month sleep regression!" And I was like "WHA?" How do people KNOW all these things? In my defense, my son IS drooling like Buckingham Fountain and gnawing on everything he can get his hands on so assuming it's teething wasn't a total crazy illogical leap. But then I mentioned the same thing to my SIL and she was like "Oh yeah! Bella [my niece] did the same thing!" I guess I need to check my archives to see if Syd did this when she was four months. I would but I AM TOO TIRED. GAH.
Being tired effects me in every possible way. I have no motivation to shower, dress myself, put on makeup, make dinner, clean the house, do the laundry and so it comes as no surprise that I cannot get myself together enough to remember Real Adult Responsibilities either. Sheesh. I am spiraling into the madness in which I am too depressed to try to go to bed at a reasonable hour because it's really, really depressing to be awoken by a little baby like 45 minutes after you turn in for the night (or worse? To go to bed having no idea how many times you'll be up over the course of the night). When I'm tired I'm hungry and I'm too lazy to make myself something healthy to eat. By the time I have all the Little People fed, diapered, cleaned up, put down for nap or bed, taken to the playground or whatever it is, sometimes the best I can do is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a frozen pizza, or a plate of microwaved nachos. On good days I throw something in the crock pot, but it always seems to go in late (I'll routinely start it at lunch time when I was supposed to start it at breakfast time).
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I dropped out of Biggest Blogging Loser officially today. I was on the couch last night with my Ben & Jerry's sneering at Jillian Michaels who was challenging me and America to go Pound for Pound and I was like ENOUGH. I feel bad about it and know that I need to right this ship and start exercising and taking better care of myself. BUT I AM SO TIRED. I keep thinking that I'll go for it again when Elijah is nursing less (he starts solids any day now) and sleeping better. I know that one of these days I'll dig up that damn 30 Day Shred DVD and start kvetching about doing push-ups on Twitter once more. But today is not that day.
In fact? I'm not even sure that I've eaten anything of substance today. So in the name of survival? I'm going to go and take care of that quickly and not worry too much about the calorie count. Because someone's fussing in his bouncy chair and someone else is screaming for MORE DORA while trying to clobber her brother in his bouncy chair GOD HELP ME.