Just call me Mother.

Today I am wearing an unflattering pair of skinny jeans. They were the only pair of clean pants available that I could pull past my knees.

The reason my laundry is backed up is because of poopie blowout loads, stinky dog bedding, and the ultra-urgent "lovie blanket" load I had to do this morning before nap time. My current favorite pair of jeans (that I wore 4 days in a row before they flunked a sniff check) are buried somewhere in that pile.

Is it weird that my knees hurt from sitting cross-legged too much? What on earth does that even MEAN?

I lost track of time and didn't put Syd down for her nap until 2:45 p.m. today. I have decided to start a club called Parents Against Ben Franklin. Our goal will be to educate people on the evils of Daylight Saving.

My other kid took an epic 3-hour nap this morning because once again, he was up ALL NIGHT. Must be nice to catch up on all that sleep you missed during the day, huh?

One kid has Play-Doh in her hair and the other has peanut butter smeared in his hair thanks to his big sis.

In the kitchen today I dropped both a full water bottle and then a frozen chicken breast on the same foot. Because I am a good Christian mother of two I waited to scream profanities until I could find a pillow. To scream profanities into.

Recently I read Ree Drummond's Wikipedia page and it said that she makes more than a million dollars a year from display income alone. I looked up her dSLR camera on the internet and it costs more than $8,000 for just the body. Between these things, her admission that she has a household staff, her long red hair and her extensive boot collection, let's just say I WANT TO CRY.

On an unrelated note, I have decided that I want to be Ree Drummond when I grow up.

How's your Monday going?

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4 thoughts on “Just call me Mother.

  1. Mama Bub says:

    Oh, and my stranger envy ramps up even more. But she admitted to having a staff? How did I miss this? I’m not sure if I should love her or hate her for that!

  2. nanette says:

    Sorry it’s been a rough day. I’ve had my fair share of those ’round these parts, too, if it’s any consolation.

    I’m about to start Ree’s latest book tonight, coincidentally!

  3. Anna says:

    um, that is ridiculous. PW’s income, I mean. but Manda, you can totally be her- I’m just saying. I’m pretty sure any book you would write would make me laugh MUCH more than hers do (not that she isn’t witty)! you’ve got skills! 🙂

  4. seekingclarav says:

    Parents Against Ben Franklin – I died.

    I too lost track of time at a play date this morning and gave my daughter a time out at someone else’s house (awesome) because she was melting down out of control. Well, turns out my friend did not set clocks right so she was melting down because not only had she not had lunch (1 hour late) it was well into her nap time. Sigh. Mother of the year? Nope.

    You are doing great. You put up a post, that’s more than I can say!

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