Four nights a week.

So here's how it goes.

On a good night, I get the kids in bed by 8 pm. These days John is only home at night on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. These days John is up and gone before even Elijah revs up the "I POOPED" wail at 7:14 precisely.

(Let me be clear. We are blessed with an abundance of employment right now. My husband is a rock star of epic proportions. Things will calm down the second week of June. I don't mean to complain. I … I … just … Oh June hurry up.)

So the kids are in bed by 8. It's a great night!

Time to clean up the toy tornado in the front room.

Time to unload the dishwasher.

Time to reload the dishwasher.

Time to put away whatever's left of dinner.

Time to wash whatever won't fit in the dishwasher.

Time to fold the clean laundry.

Time to put away the clean laundry.

Time to sit on the couch and watch television for 45 minutes.

Time to let the dogs out.

Time to let the dogs in.

Time to shoo Juicy off my warm spot on the couch.

Time to doze off on the couch.

Time to get up and get ready for bed.

Time to check on the kids.

Time to fall asleep. Drool is involved.

(15 minutes elapse)

Baby is awake.

Time to calm the baby down.

Time to nurse the baby.

Time to put the sleeping baby down.

Oop! No sleepy for ME, Mama!

Time to nurse the baby.

Time to put the baby down eeeever soooo giiiingerlllllly.

Time to go back to bed.

(One hour elapses)

Baby is awake.

Time to nurse the baby.

Time to put the baby dow- oh HA HA NICE TRY MAMA.


Doze off in the chair.

(20 minutes elapse)

Time to go back to bed.

(Four hours elapse)

Baby is awake.

Give up and lie down on the bed in his room with him on the boob.

(three hours elapse)

Awaken to nipple bite. Baby laughs at wincing pain! Up for the day!!

(And he does not nap during the day unless he's being held.)

(It has been suggested to me that maybe I am caffienating him through breastmilk? Because I have two GLORIOUS cups of coffee in the morning?)

(Oh friggin' well.)

(And I forgot to mention that up until I started putting duct tape belts on Sydney's pull up at every nap and bedtime that I was also changing a pee bed right before I went to sleep EVERY NIGHT. God bless you, Duct Tape.)

What were we talking about again? It's scheduled doze off on the couch time so I gotta go.


4 thoughts on “Four nights a week.

  1. Mama Bub says:

    My kids can not tolerate caffeine while breastfeeding. Like, at all. I had one soda when my girl was tiny and she didn’t nap for four days. It has me counting the days until next month when my precious turns one and the weaning will be ON.

    Here’s hoping you get some sleep soon. My eyes are burning in solidarity.

  2. CG says:

    Oh my gosh. I thought I was the only one who duct tapes diapers! My little one can still get them off! Also, I’m on my third breast fed baby and I have drunk coffee with all three. I doubt that the caffeine is keeping your baby up. Unfortunately, some babies just don’t need a lot of sleep. The nights see endless but remember, this too shall pass.

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