I start a pot of chicken broth to boil so I can make some quinoa. I forget about it. And the pot boils down to nothing and burns.
I look into the preschool that a friend from Mommy & Me class could not stop gushing about. I finally have preschool HOPE! Small classes! Very reasonable price! Awesome and attentive teachers! It's ok to not be fully potty trained! Guess how much it costs? $450 a month for two days a week OH HO HA HA THAT'S FUNNY.
Sydney and I play "camping," a game in which we throw a blanket over our heads in the living room. She says "Mama, you stay under here, I go get a book." She then proceeds to jump on my head and totally ring my bell.
After I recover I decide it's naptime. I take her to the potty, her pull up is wet. She fake pees on the toilet and tries to stall naptime by going for a ball that's in the bathroom. Since I'm leading her out, she's not watching where she's going and she runs headfirst into the door. HARD.
I collect my weeping and sobbing mess of a daughter in my arms and as I walk into her room I step on a lotion bottle and it fires a wad all over my other leg and the bookcase behind it.
And then this … a wholly new development in the saga of The Baby Who Will Not Sleep:
What on EARTH do I DO? Just leave him there? I'm scared to death to move him because … uh, DOES NOT SLEEP.