I might try sleeping with the fishes

Once again, I come to you WEAK and TIRED because my kids were (big shock coming! Brace yourself!) up in the night. First it was Elijah who was up at 1:11 am until 2 am, when I finally just plopped him down in his crib because he was flopping all over me with his eyes closed (!) and I was just a useless bag of flesh. He whimpered a little but then thankfully fell back asleep. The next day he pushed himself up from his belly into a sitting position! So I guess we now know what's up with the little dude!

(Have I mentioned to you yet that Little Dude is now a super-fast army crawler and can also get cabinet doors open?! If you need me I'll be at Target pondering the childproofing supplies, wondering if there's anything made by man who can thwart one of my children when they are determined to open something. So far? The answer is NO.)

But this leaves us with Syd! Who on the same night woke up at 3:30 WAILING. Now, let's back up here a minute and reveal something to you about my daughter: She has a flair for the dramatic and tends to overexaggerate. She – it pains me to admit (and I'm sure this will also shock you all after you read this post) – inherited that from her mama. OOPS.

I got drama like my mama.

For instance: As of late, my daughter insists that her underwear MUST BE CHANGED every time she uses the potty because "THESE ARE WET!" Dudes. They are never wet. But unless she gets a "dry" pair when she demands them she runs around with her lady parts hanging out and inevitably she flashes the postman or sneaks out behind me when I need to get something out of the car or garage and streaks the driveway and thus the neighbors.

So. Diva gets her "dry" underwear.

Anyhoodle, when we first started potty training and she started experiencing a "full" bladder she would insist that "her privates hurt." At first – before I figured out what she meant – this really concerned me! Did she have a bladder infection? A UTI? WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BABY!? (and just as a side note, I totally racked my brains and FREAKED OUT that someone had hurt her in some way until I realized it was totally impossible … and that there were no other warning signs or red flags. Also I need to say that I was dealing with some serious anxiety issues back then that have since subsided). A few keystrokes later, Dr. Google convinced me that she was quite well. I finally put it together when one morning she woke up with a dry diaper – IN TEARS – and commenced to empty her bladder in a way that would make racehorses blush: Homegirl had to go p-o-t-t-y.

This did not prevent her, however, from insisting to several people at church and preschool that her PRIVATES HURT. I got more than one concerned talking-to from people who meant well about this issue, and I was very happy to explain to them that this was her language for "I gotta go potty!!" and we were working on it.

And so the other night when she woke up at 3:30 in the morning and had to go pee? Instead of politely calling out from her crib, "Hey Mama! Come and get me! I gotta go potty!" I hear the gutteral wailings of a poor soul who can only have just woken from the worst nightmare ever in history, complete with hiccups: "MAW MUUUH WA-HA-HAAAAA-HA! WAAAAAAAH!" Of course I jolt out of bed in a stupor, run down the hall before my limbs are really even awake to find my daughter, snuggled up in her bed without a tear in her eye. 

"Hi Mama." And a little wave.

DUDE. I knew EXACTLY what was up. I put her on the potty chair we keep in her room, she did her thing, then I put her back in bed and we were done. Not another peep.

And in the morning when she woke up? SAME DEAL. Super hectic drama to wake up, I put her on the potty and she goes pee and then she's FINE (even though she sometimes first insists that she doesn't have to go potty).

So all of this leads me to beg the question: Is it time to release her from her Crib Prison and at least put the rail on the side so she can get up and take herself potty in the night/in the morning instead of giving me a heart attack? I JUST got the kids napping again after a MONTH of only a nap here or there and I'm not ready to give that up. I'm also not ready to do some kind of crazy dance where she WILL NOT stay in her bed. We call the girl Blonde Tornado for a reason: she cannot be contained, y'all (except by the crib. Oh how I love the crib).

Any advice? Any commiseration?

(psst! I'm sharing my new favorite shorts over at Style Lush today: Shorts for people who hate shorts)


8 thoughts on “I might try sleeping with the fishes

  1. Larmar says:

    Ay. Hard questions. Alex has been in a toddler bed since she was 16 months, but ONLY because lady crawled out and stopped her fall with her head. Because of that, potty training at night was a breeze because she has a porto-potty in her room that she uses in the morning all by herself.
    But. BUT. Eli is still in the crib, and I have no intentions of moving him anytime soon. I know what a crib is. It’s a cage. One that I am happy to set my child in twice a day. I am dreading the move to a toddler bed with him, because I cannot see it going smoothly. I have vague memories of holding Alex’s door shut while she wailed on the other side, but it’s kind of like childbirth, in that I don’t remember most of the bad stuff. I know it was there though.
    So, really, I have no good advice. Just an “I hear ya” and a high five from across the ocean.

  2. HereWeGoAJen says:

    My daughter was up last night for an hour and a half too. And I have NO idea why. She was just wailing.

    I am holding on to the crib as long as possible. Elizabeth is still in a diaper at night and has no problems using it. (Although, sometimes she does ask permission first. She’s in her room, by herself, and we hear her over the monitor going “can I put peepees in my diaper?” And then no one answers her so I guess she assumes it is okay.)

  3. Brandy says:

    Livi did the same thing with her “gina” hurting!! I was the same way and had a mini freak-out until I realized what was going on.

    Oh and we released Livi from her four-walled cage a few weeks ago but she refuses to get up and go potty on her own, even though we leave the bathroom light on and she is fully capable. I think she would much rather have the “MOMMY!! I NEED YOU!” drama to go potty. Fun times.

  4. Courtney says:

    Both boys were in big boy beds at 14 months with no rail (we just had them on a twin mattress on the floor, the gradually put the box spring under, etc..) I had no issues with them making the transition either..just hyped it up and threatend to sleep in their beds myself. There was no way they were going to let me sleep in THEIR beds! I do remember holding Tyler’s door shut with all the force in the world, but then we just put a baby gate up and let him keep the door open (and WAIL) til he fell asleep. Chase figured out (like Syd) how to get a small baby gate, then tall baby gate open real quick-so we have to SuperNanny him most nights!!
    Maybe you have tried this, but have you guys tried taking turns with who gets up at night so you can sleep? If I have to get up early and one of the boys wakes up, then Lincoln gets up and takes care of it. When Lincoln has to get up early, then I do it. I love sleeping way to much and I cannot imagine going through what you are!

  5. Sharyn says:

    Yes, move her to the big girl bed. The longer you wait to make the move, the more accustomed she’ll become to waking you and having you do everything for her when she needs to go potty.

  6. Elsha says:

    Could you do a big girl bed at night and crib at nap time? Or am I the only crazy person that keeps a bed AND a crib in each of my kids rooms? (Well, okay, Kalena’s room doesn’t have a crib anymore, but it did have a bed the whole time she was in a crib.)

  7. SUPAHMAMA says:

    Put the rail down if you must, but I highly HIGHLY recommend a big girl bed. However, I’m also the parent that will recommend turning the lock around on your kids door so you can lock them in there at night. I am THAT parent. My son likes to wake up at the ungodliest of hours (as in, before the rooster, AS IN 5 A.M.) and if we didn’t have the lock on the door he would be cooking us breakfast and attempting to hang himself from the ceiling. It keeps him contained as a crib would have, but gives him room to run both during the day AND night (very VERY active sleeper.)

    The only downfall is we had to turn the knob around on the door leading from the kids bathroom into his sister’s room because, OMG DON’T WAKE THE DRAGON. Tis the one major inconvenience of having a “Jack and Jill” bathroom between them. This is also where we keep the one monitor between their rooms though so we can hear him if he starts flushing ridiculous amounts of TP down the toilet or when he’s GOOD AND AWAKE he’ll pick the monitor receiver up and yell directly into the noise input holes. Who needs an alarm clock when you have a 4 year old?

    Kalena, we had a crib AND bed in my son’s room for a while because he wasn’t quite sure about leaving the security of his crib. Every time he fell out of the crib (we took the side rail off, and yes we had the good ol’ Jenny Lind CRIB OF DEATH!!! for both kids) it would encourage him to go to the big boy bed where he had plenty of room to roll and kick and so on.

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