Syd (to me, 2 seconds after I've sat down at the table to feed her brother and myself): "Mama! I needa go potty! Please! Come take me potty!"
Me (to my daughter, who is fully capable of taking herself potty, but will only do so at preschool. WTH): "Mama just sat down! If you go potty all by yourself, you'll get a special surprise treat* when you come out!"
*I have no idea what the "special surprise treat" will be.
Syd (hands clenched firmly in her crotch, doing the potty dance): "What is the treat? Mama! Tell me what is the surprise!!"
Me: "You'll find out when you come back from going potty ALL BY YOURSELF!"
Syd: "Mama! You needa come with me!"
Me (in a brilliant revelation): "Candy corn! You can have THREE pieces of candy corn!!"
Syd: (runs off to the bathroom!)
Me: (brings bite of cereal halfway to my mouth)
Syd: (screaming from bathroom) "MAMA! You NEEDA COME HERE! I MADE A BIG MESS!"
Me: (mopping pee off the bathroom floor while my cereal gets soggy. FAIL.)