In which we drink our veggies and I nearly toss my cookies

We are going to need to digress here for a minute.

Here's the thing: I'm pretty tired and feeling generally craptastic these days. I know it is because I'm not taking care of myself. I'm not sleeping enough. I'm not exercising enough. I'm not eating well. I'm shoveling Easter candy down my gobhole like it's my JOB.

This is why I say crazy things like, "I'm toying with the idea of giving up sugar!" or "Hey, YES, my friend who is a personal trainer! Come over to my house and make me do many reps of squats and crunches so I can't walk or get on and off the toilet for three days without extreme pain!"

Obviously, I'm getting sorta desperate. And so, because everyone's doing it, I went and got myself into this mess:


That, my friends, is a loose adaptation of the Glowing Green Smoothie. I thought it sounded like a delicious idea! I happily packed in a buttload of spinach leaves and an entire head of romaine lettuce. I chopped up two apples and two bananas. A handful of strawberries. A few cups of water. "I'm gonna feel SO MUCH BETTER tomorrow!" my inner hippie said to me! For once I actually agreed with her! Smoothies! This is going to change our life!

And then I took a sip. Who knew that it would taste like … vegetables? What in the HECK?!


Yeah, so, it tasted like spinach. Puzzling. Although I drank a crap ton of the stuff so I expect to wake up tomorrow looking like a freshly exfoliated Jennifer Lopez, mmkay?

Despite my reservations my kids were SUPER excited to try the green smoothie so I had to let them have some. Syd was like WOO HOO! SMOOTHIE!

And so I gave her some. Poor kid had no idea what was about to hit her.



I believe the direct quote was "YUM!" (I forgot her favorite food is salad.)

Next customer?


He liked it so much …


He decided to spike it on the floor like a football.

You win this round, Green Smoothie. YOU WIN.


(Round two went to Doritos)


"Hey kid! No more smoothie for you until you finish your Doritos!"


Atta boy!


5 thoughts on “In which we drink our veggies and I nearly toss my cookies

  1. annie says:

    I can’t believe how BIG he looks in that picture. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? And also – maybe on a night when people are vomiting in this house, I should have not read this post about salad juice. That’s all.

    But I hear ya – between the candy and the lack of exercise and the not enough sleep and the candy….I’m feeling the same way lately. And yet, each day is the same old story. The good news, though, is that each day I make it a little further into the day before falling off the wagon, so I think that’s a good sign. I hope you’re getting closer to it as well. xxoo

  2. A'Dell says:

    I keep thinking I should jump on the smoothie train but….eh. It sounds like a lot of work for a drinkable meal. I also hate cleaning blender parts.

    Newsflash: I can be SUPER lazy.

  3. Mauralessa says:

    Your kids are so cute! Love the last pic.

    I’ve been tempted to do a juice cleanse. I don’t like the texture of smoothies and I don’t own a blender, so the green goddess is out. I should probably start with drinking more water and eating fewer calzones.

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