In which I bungle up a foolproof recipe. Twice.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm STILL obsessed with The Pioneer Woman (my obsession is well documented here and here). Even now I have her Spicy Dr. Pepper Pulled Pork in the oven and my house smells delicious. I am not ashamed to tell you that when I grow up, I want to be Ree. Every recipe of hers that I've made has made me a hero. When I read her blog I feel happy about life (except I never win one of the iPads or Le Creusets she gives away what is UP with that).

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Oh my goodness! She LOVES me! Do you SEE THAT?

I recently won a SIGNED copy of her latest cookbook in a blog giveaway and when it arrived I read it cover to cover. Soon after I checked on iTunes to see if her show on Food Network was available for purchase – and it was! – so I bought the first season and watched (and of course LOVED) it. Know who else loved it? My daughter. Dude, is that the understatement of the century. We have enjoyed watching the show together so much that I of course had to buy the second season too, and we have watched every single episode of both seasons probably three times. Such a refreshing change from our standard Yo Gabba Gabba, Sesame Street, and Barney fare over here (ok so maybe THAT is the understatement of the century).

This led very naturally into … cooking. Sydney and I have been cooking together 3-4 times a week this last month while Elijah is napping and it's just the best. We've made zucchini bread and pizza dough and chicken parmesan and tons of other stuff and it's just amazing. We do something fun together, I get to teach her new things, and dinner is simultaneously cooked! MIND = BLOWN!

A few weeks ago I tried one of PW's most popular recipes: Perfect Iced Coffee. I had no doubt that this one would turn out just as perfectly as every other recipe.

I followed the instructions to steep the coffee … then forgot about it for two days. Whoops! I strained it anyway and hoped for a miracle. No bueno. I served my poor unsuspecting husband a glass and he nearly horked right there on the spot (and that's saying something. This is a guy who will scrape mold off food and eat it anyway. Oh man now I'M about to hork). But! It was my bad! So a few days ago I tried it again. I steeped the coffee just short of 8 hours, strained it carefully (and made the biggest friggin mess ever in history), chilled it, mixed it with half and half and sweetened condensed milk …

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Yum! It looks so delicious right?!

One sip later? HORK. HORK HORK HORK SO BITTER GAH WHY DOES IT TASTE LIKE THAT!

John agreed.

I poured it down the sink. I think I'll file this one in the archives of "Manda can't do it right."

The end.

(unless someone can troubleshoot this for me and give me hope of having a delicious ice coffee on the back porch of my cottage on my cattle ranch — oops I mean the back porch of my bungalow in LA where airplanes fly over my back yard and rattle the windows.)

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8 thoughts on “In which I bungle up a foolproof recipe. Twice.

  1. larmar says:

    sugar? or using a flavored creamer? i don’t know why it didn’t turn out- that one has been on my list for a while now (i have 2 full bags of coffee that have gathered dust it’s been so long…. one reg and one decaf!). This makes me nervous!! eep!

  2. larmar says:

    also- thanks for the heads up about her show! i’ve been sad that I can’t watch it over here, but I think it might be worth the investment!!

  3. A'Dell says:

    Oh, I HATE that sweetened condensed milk shit. I have cousins that eat it form a can WITH A SPOON (HOOOORK).

    But, I make her iced coffe a lot! I just add milk and flavored syrups and make a sort of cold lattee. Do that part. Leave the canned milk (SERIOUSLY, WHY CAN MILK) out of it.

  4. Jesabes says:

    I tried cold-brewing coffee a couple times. I got the recipe from a different site, but it was basically the same directions, except this site said to steep for at least 12 hours, preferably 24. The longer the better, actually. It WAS better if I steeped it for 24 hours, but it turns out I just don’t like cold brewed coffee.

  5. Raven says:

    What brand of coffee did you use? I made cold brewed coffee and LOVED it but I used a very specific brand of coffee grounds. Cafe Bustelo.

    You could also try adding more water.

  6. Holly says:

    Trouble Shooting Tip: For cold brew coffees, most people use just their regular drip grind that they would put in their coffee pot, but you really need to use a coarser grinder if you are going to use and extended steep method like cold brewing. Something closer to a french press if you don’t want the coffee to start off tasting bitter. Maybe that will change things up? Or maybe iced coffee cold brewed just ain’t your bag! I like to hot brew and cool, then refrigerate…mostly because having multiple grinds of coffee in my house make me feel fussy, but that’s just me 🙂

  7. Amanda says:

    I wouldn’t call this the best iced coffee, but it works in a pinch. I brew my morning coffee strong, like rocket fuel strong. I brew a full pot, 12 cups, we drink about 4 cups. I let the rest sit all day. I come home from work, I fill a cup with ice, pour the cooled mornings coffee 3/4 full, add three pumps of Starbucks classic syrup, whole milk and stir. Delicious. You can buy Starbucks flavored or classic syrup for about 9 bucks a bottle and sometimes they’ll even give you a pump!

  8. Miranda says:

    I can’t help with the iced coffee part, but I love that you watch the show with your daughter. When it was airing on tv I’d record it early in the morning and later that day Hayley and I would snuggle up to watch together. Absolutely one of my most favorite weekend activities ever.We’d often make a recipe from each show, too, which is how I ended up with a gigantic chocolate cake for my step-dad’s birthday.

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