I can't believe this, but I forgot to mention that Michael is an Ironman. Which, apparently, is different than a regular triathalon.
That's a mistake I won't make again. Here he is explaining how IMPORTANT Ironmen/Ironwomen are. And how important Rolos are too.
(don't take a mouthful of liquid during this unless you are prepared to spit it all out on your computer.)
(because this is exactly what it was like running a marathon with him. FOR SIX HOURS.)