Endless numbered days.

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Before things got hairy in the world of pre-term labor scares, there has been a lot rolling around in my head about when this little lady will make her appearance. For a long time I thought her due date was July 14 (which … NOPE! July 11). Then there was then the collision of this umbilical hernia of mine, and my perinatologist who insists that I let him fix it during my c-section every time I visit him (but he only does surgery on Saturdays).

So! Mentally I was planning to, well, plan for my c-section on Saturday July 6 or Saturday July 13. I know that ultimately my doctor makes that decision, but one of the benefits of looking toward your third c-section is the idea that you will pretty much know when the baby's coming (unless? Well, you're pregnant with Elijah and he decides he's showing up early to the party). There are some medical and legal reasons why a doctor cannot schedule a c-section for any more than 7 days before your due date. And I was pretty sure (for a few months now) that it'd end up working out pretty well for July 6, even though it would have been a bit of a squeeze.

The only problem with July 6 is that is the day my father died. It bothered me some at first, but I figured that it was one of those coincidences that would actually end up being a blessing. My mom has struggled with that particular date for obvious reasons, and in the back of my mind I wondered if I would end up with an earlier date because of what happened with Elijah. Anything's possible! But Saturday! I want it to happen on a Saturday! I don't want to have to get a second surgery to fix my hernia. I want to just be done with it, done with pregnancy, and move on with my life.

And now there's this whole thing where I might – if I go into labor in three weeks! – just have her in June. On whatever day. This is the part of giving birth (along with the constant cervical checking for dilation! Ugh!) that I was hoping to avoid with a repeat c-section. Dude! Not fair! And then seriously, Dr. G? You were going to PLAN her birthday for July 4? Which is admittedly kind of cool but also NOT FAIR to my other kids who do not have birthdays on national holidays?!

Well, that's it, really. I have no idea when she'll show up. As long as she cooks in there a few more weeks and comes out healthy, that's all I ask.

(Knocks on wood, crosses fingers, begs for this to not be jinxed because I dared write it out for all to see.)

(Aw crap. I'd better get to work on that hospital bag.)

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