Hitch in my giddyup

So … funny story! My MRI results came back and I have a fractured tibia and a sprained ACL. Which, in a weird way, is good news! I cannot believe that having a broken leg is actually a "best-case" scenario here, but there you go. No torn ACL (which is what I was pretty sure we were dealing with and … oh dude would THAT have ever sucked. A year of recovery. A YEAR). A torn miniscus would have meant minor surgery with a few months of recovery. A posterior tibia fracture? Means … crutches and rest until the bone heals. 6-8 weeks total.

I will say again, this is good news! BUT! In case anyone hasn't noticed … I have three little kids. I am super clumsy and trying to use crutches and carry a baby around is just ridiculous. So, confession time: I'm not really using my crutches.

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I'm limping through my summer right now, literally and figuratively. It was not my plan! The kids are all sick in one form or another this week: Sydney has a double ear infection, Lucy is teething and growing (and now crawling!) and also has some major sinus crud happening, and Elijah is knocking on the door of getting sick too with a bit of a temp. So we are sitting around the house a lot. Everyone is grumpy and fussy (me included). It's not my favorite.

I had plans! We were going to the beach or the water park every Saturday! I was going to start training for my two half-marathons in October this week! My friend and I were going to to the YMCA and work out A LOT. I was going to start physical therapy for my diastasis recti. Sydney was going to be taught to ride her two-wheeler and everyone was going to play outside every day for HOURS. I had plans! So many wonderful plans!

It just feels like a lot is on hold right now. And so I'm organizing the house. I'm folding a crap-ton of laundry. I'm shopping online too much. I'm fending off very bored children (especially my almost-first grader who STILL cannot manage to entertain herself for very long). I'm knocking up plans for reward systems and behavior charts for the kids and failing dramatically at executing them. I'm calling up my friends and inviting us all over to their houses for play dates. I'm dragging us all to urgent care and/or the pediatrician. Grandma is driving over a lot and watching the kids while I go get MRIs and go to the doctor. I am wiping noses and administering medications. I am experimenting with new hairstyles. We are eating out a lot. I am breaking up arguments between my children. I am thinking a lot about grief and loss and about the very weighty things that have transpired in our lives these last few months.

And in ways we are still having a great, lazy summer. It's been good for us. We've spent a lot of time with friends! The big kids got to go to VBS for a week and they just loved it. Sydney has been journaling and reading (it is seriously so cool that she can read) and Elijah can spend an hour or more just looking at and organizing his cars and airplanes. Their best buddies have a trampoline at one house and a brood of chickens at another (our house has the slip-n-slide, ha, lucky buddies). John is taking me to Hawaii next week with no kids (!!) for our tenth wedding anniversary! It's still a good summer! It's just not the summer I was planning on.

Amidst it all I wait, and wait, and wait for my leg to feel better. And it really doesn't feel much better yet, and that is pretty depressing sometimes. I am trying to find what God might teach me through all this. I know there are areas of my life where I need to slow down. I need to accept that it's ok for me to be weak and to not be able to do everything all the time. My children needed to learn some contructive things to do while they're bored (and I think we are on that road … they have been bored a lot this summer). I needed to learn how to be more flexible when my plans get shot all to hell. I needed to learn to ask for help and not just accept it when it's offered … I am still learning this lesson.

What's crazy about me is that I still have hope that I'll be running/walking at least one half marathon in October. I am still determined to get on track with therapy as soon as I get the green light from my orthopedic specialist. I am still determined to have an amazing vacation with my husband. It's just a matter of time. I just need to wait it out a little longer, which is the hardest part.

Oh … and I should probably bust out those crutches once in a while.

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